Annoyance.

I think everyone should give me money for the 'greater good'. Before you press back listen to my reasoning. Everyday I go to work, I get up at the same time as millions of others - Already annoying greenies by turning on the lights(Non energy efficient bulbs), and heater on my way to the bathroom to have a shower. Once my ablutions are complete I annoy my wife by leaving a puddle on the bathroom floor (It's unavoidable really, but blame attaches regardless), which she will no doubt step in on her way to the shower in bare feet when it will be cold and start her day off on the wrong foot (terrible pun intended). Then I get dressed in my cheap suit and shirt which are probably made by Chinese sweatshop workers (Human rights activists are after me now), I wander off to the tube, where I then annoy everyone behind me by taking the last metro, then proceed to start my morning rugby match. This begins by trying to shoulder as many people as I can for being in my way down the escalators - (Lazy sods who stand there mostly - Who in turn shoulder someone else coming down and so on - It's exponential this stuff) and then fight my way onto the tube - Where the half dozen people with various parts of my anatomy shoved against them get annoyed by my presence in their grid square. Then at every subsequent stop annoy another dozen or so people who cannot actually fit on the tube because of my selfish desire to be on time for work, until finally I get to my station, barge my way out of the station through the scores of people whose heinous crime is to be between me and where I'm heading, and finally get to work, where I spend the day disappointing my boss, annoying my colleagues by humming random tunes (Girl from Ipanema mostly for some reason - I blame Westy) and upsetting customers by telling hem that I'm declining their credit because they ticked the wrong box and said they had been bankrupt instead of hadn't (That's their own fault, but they'll still be annoyed at me). There's also all those poor people who are in the right place to witness my daily ritual of standing at the front of the queue at some sandwich shop becoming totally over awed by the spectacular range of choice and faffing about for 2 or 3 minuts deciding exactly what I want for my lunch. Then I repeat my morning rugby match on the way home in the afternoon, annoying similar people, but very rarely the same ones that I had so successfully caused annoyance to that very morning. By the time I get home on any given evening, Apart from being annoyed at myself for doing such a boring pointless meaningless job that was sucking my life out through my eyeballs, I estimate that I have annoyed approximately 9 greenies (My shoe size is 9, so I suppose my carbon footprint is the same size, so I'm using that as a guide), 1 Wife (Although I'll give her 10 points for being very important), 16 Humanitarians (Same principal as greenies, but with my neck measurement instead), 150 commuters on the way to work at least, who'll probably all go kick puppies because I annoyed them so much, so add 150 puppies, 150 owners of puppies who just saw their puppy get kicked, 20 co-workers/customers etc, another 200 commuters on the way home (after a long day the BO picks up, and that annoys more people), and therefore another 400 puppies/puppy owners to go along with, making a total of 1105 annoyed people a day. That's 5525 People a week, and at least 265,000 people a year. Take into account that all these people will be that much more short tempered with everyone else they encounter on all of these days, and no doubt annoy a lot of those, I think it fair to claim that I annoy approximately 1,000,000 people a year (and that's a conservative estimate.) If I do that every year for 10 years, 10,000,000 people will be going bald/getting ulcers/drinking too much, BECAUSE OF ME! I can't afford not to go to work, so if all those people who are annoyed by me want me to stop annoying them, contact me and send me money, Once I have enough money, I will buy a place to live out in the country well away from anyone who might be annoyed by me and leave you all to your blissful lives without me annoying you...